Building Blocks of Love: Cultivating Admiration and Respect in Your Relationship

Respect and appreciation are one of the foundation blocks of a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship. Oftentimes at the beginning of a relationship respecting and appreciating your partner comes pretty naturally, but as the years pass, maintaining these ingredients becomes effortful. When we intentionally cultivate these qualities, we create a strong foundation of love, understanding, and mutual admiration. When you've been with your partner for a long time it's easy to let past arguments and resentments erode the respect you have for your partner. Let's look at some ways to maintain the essential ingredients of a loving romantic relationship

1. Understand where your feelings are coming from:

It is very easy to get into a habit of blaming our partner for things they're doing to "make" us unhappy. While your partner of course isn't perfect, many times our reactions to our partner's shortcomings are a result of things that have happened to us in the past that are being projected into the relationship. When we hold ourselves accountable we free up mental space and are able to see ourselves with clarity. This clarity opens our heart to have more compassion for our partner rather than living in resentment

2. Express Gratitude:

Regularly express gratitude for your partner's presence in your life and the positive contributions they make. Acknowledge their efforts, whether it's cooking a delicious meal, offering emotional support, or going the extra mile to make you smile. Simple expressions of gratitude, such as saying "thank you" or a simple hug or shoulder rub, can go a long way in fostering a sense of appreciation. Also, it can be helpful to actively remind yourself about why you chose this person to begin with. It's easy to lose sight of these reasons after years of resentment have built up but reminding yourself why you chose them can help to decrease resentment.

3. Communicate with Kindness and Respect:

Maintain open and respectful communication in your relationship. Be mindful of your tone, language, and non-verbal cues when expressing your thoughts and feelings. Avoid criticism, defensiveness, or contemptuous remarks. Instead, communicate your needs and concerns with kindness, using "I" statements to express yourself without blaming or attacking your partner.

4. Honor Differences and Foster Mutual Growth:

Respect and appreciation also involve embracing the unique qualities and perspectives your partner brings to the relationship. Recognize that differences in opinions, interests, and personalities can enrich your bond. Encourage personal growth and support each other's individual aspirations, celebrating the growth you both experience as individuals and as a couple.


Increasing respect and appreciation in your romantic relationship requires conscious effort and intention. By expressing gratitude, communicating with kindness, honoring differences, showing interest, and practicing acts of kindness, you can create a loving and harmonious connection. Cultivate an environment of respect and appreciation, nurturing the growth and fulfillment of both yourself and your partner. Remember, small actions and genuine gestures of love can create a ripple effect, enriching your relationship for years to come.

If you'd like to learn more about how to improve your romantic relationship, feel free to reach out for a consultation to see if we'd be a good fit.